When I imagine a perfect experience, I imagine something like Chris McCandless must have imagined when he set out on the road.  I imagine very few belongings.  Very few wants.  Independent, but for temporary connections with people and nature.  This is why I camp, and why I feel most at home on the trail.  It is a kind of nakedness.

I have been thinking of testosterone and surgery as something extra.  Another something to have, to bring along.  Relying on something outside myself.  But really, it is a way to feel at home naked, both literally and figuratively.


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